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A Horrible Self


When I was at home last weekend, I experienced self-introspection. Self-introspection for me is my natural way to evaluate  my self before the Lord. After much evaluation though this way called self-introspection, the result were always be regrets, self-pity, self resolution and other things pertaining to the improvement of the fallen soul. Until such time came, a sister in the Lord told me that self-introspection is no longer needed if I want to evaluate (actually, expose is a better term) my fallen self. What I have to do whenever I need to Lord’s light to shine through me is to come to the Word. Hebrews 4:12 says that the Word of God is living and always able to discern the thoughts and intentions of my heart. Ephesians also tells that there is the washing in the water in the Word. So, I got it! The way is to come to the Word. No more wasting my time to introspect my fallen self and have pity on it.

And then, this portion from life-study really enlightened me:

Self comes in under the false cloak of introspection. Actually, self is constituted with introspection. Introspection is to examine yourself by looking into yourself. The Bible teaches us to always look away unto Jesus (Heb. 12:2). We should not look at ourselves. Our self is not worthy to look at. Nevertheless, every spiritual person who reaches a situation of satisfaction in Christ eventually falls into introspection, not only examining the self but also analyzing it. …Looking into ourselves in this way is the greatest weakness in the spiritual life and the greatest enemy.

When we are introspective, we may confess the same matter again and again, thinking that the more we confess, the more forgiveness we will receive. This kind of confession comes from the satanic self; it is the result of analyzing ourselves in spiritual things. Only the cross of Christ can deliver us from such a situation caused by introspection. Therefore, we need to be called to be delivered from the self through our oneness with the cross. When we become one with the cross, hiding ourselves in the clefts of the rock and in the covert of the precipice, we will be delivered from the self. Life-study of Song of Songs, msg. 3


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